Have you recently left a toxic relationship and are ready to move on?
- Do you know you won’t go back to him or her, but you don’t know how to move forward?
- Do you find yourself repeating the same relationship patterns with toxic people?
- Are you afraid of being alone?
- Are you unsure what a healthy relationship looks like?
You know you’re not going to go back to him, or her. But you’re not sure how to move on, or what that looks like. You’re afraid you’ll end up alone, but you’re also afraid to end up in another toxic relationship. You’re feeling stronger each week, but sometimes you feel triggered, out of the blue, and worry that you’re experiencing a setback. These troubling or conflicting feelings are normal, and they will feel less intense the longer you’re out of a toxic relationship.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help
You may feel like you should be able to handle this on your own. After all, people break up all the time and it seems like they’re in new relationships in no time. But you don’t want to jump into a new relationship just because you’re lonely. Yes, you want to share your life with someone who loves you. The next time, however, you want to make sure that person not only loves you, but also treats you well. What does that look like? How can you tell you’re healing when the scars you’re healing from are invisible? And speaking of invisible scars, you worry that no one will believe what you went through anyway.
I Will Believe You
I will also help you learn what a healthy relationship looks like, and what the names of those controlling tactics are that were used against you. I’ll support you when you cry because even though that relationship hurt you so much, there were also many good times. I’ll help you explore your own needs, and beliefs, and patterns that enabled you to be a target for him or her. And I’ll help you uncover those strengths that you may have forgotten you even had because they were buried so deep inside you. You’re intelligent, you’re capable, and you’re motivated to learn from this experience so you won’t fall for the same type of person again. THEN you’ll be ready to explore a new relationship. A healthier one.
Some Concerns You May Have About Therapy
- What if I cry a lot in my sessions? I will sit with you and give you a safe space to express whatever feelings you have. Some days, you may feel more sad than anything else. Other days, you may feel angry. Or hurt. Or joyful. Or confused. It is healthy and a necessary part of the healing process to feel a range of emotions, and to express them.
- How will I know when I’m ready to move on? There is no fixed answer to this question. You’ll know it, and I trust you to know when that time comes. I’ll also provide feedback to you on your progress toward your goals for therapy. It’s a collaborative process.
- What if I decide to go back to him/her? You are an adult, and you’re free to make any decision you believe is best for your life. My role is not to judge you or to tell you what to do. If this is a decision you make, I will support you in setting and enforcing healthy boundaries and in developing and using coping skills that can help during stressful experiences. I will also remind you of YOUR life goals that we discuss in sessions. Regardless of whether you’re in a relationship (toxic, healthy, or otherwise) or on your own, it is important for you to create an authentic life that is fulfilling for you.
- What if I start dating again and it brings up feelings from my toxic relationship that I wasn’t expecting to feel? This may very well happen. It’s a part of self-discovery that can feel uncomfortable, but offers rich opportunity for growth. We’ll work through the range of feelings that can arise when dating again so that you learn to accept your feelings but not let them control you.
You Can Move Forward
You can move on from a toxic relationship, find personal growth and fulfillment, and thrive in life. If you would like to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation, please reach out to me today.
The goal of Thrive Counseling and Wellness is to help you move forward from relationships and beliefs that have not worked for you in the past. Whether you’re moving on from a toxic relationship, you’re battling insecurities or uncertainties that keep you feeling stuck, or you find yourself repeating patterns that don’t serve you well anymore, it’s time to leave those unhelpful people, beliefs, and patterns in your past. Uncover the strengths that have been within you all along and make the choices that are right for you, today and in the future.
Kim Parker, LPCC (OH E.2001923)
Phone: (513) 505-5815